Taking the Hand Holding Plunge

If you watched Sex and the City religiously you’ll remember the episode where Smith tries to hold Samantha’s hand. In doing so Samantha freaks out and then whipping her hand away falls down a small flight of cellar stairs landing every so gracefully in a pile of vegetables :)

Is holding someone’s hand that you are romantically interested in a serious declaration of commitment?
Let us discuss…

One of my friends was telling us about the latest guy shes been dating and how much she’s at ease and comfortable with him- so much so that on their first official date she let him hold her hand in public. “I consider it PDA, and I’m not big on PDA so I'm surprised that I let him”.

Most of us probably think PDA is hugging, cuddling, kissing, etc. with your bf/gf, whatever. I’ve never thought hand holding was a form of PDA because I never considered it as a display of affection, but it is. It can say a lot about the relationship you are starting or one you are currently in.

I hold hands with friends all the time, I think it’s fun. But when it comes to holding the hand of a person you like- it can make you a little nervous and can say a lot. It’s a somewhat powerful silent statement to others around because it says “I’m with this person”.

Different Hand Holds Mean Different Things:

1. Clasped Hands
Most common type of hand holding in the beginning stages of a relationship. This is a very secure way of saying this person is with me, without saying we are too serious.

2. Interlaced Fingers
This is when you are probably headed in the staged of a more serious relationship. Interlaced fingers say we are serious, and our lives are intertwined.

3. Pinky Holds
I like pinky holds. They’re casual and cute. A pinky hold is just saying “Hi I’m here, what’s up?”

4. Hand Hold with Gentle Arm Grasp
This is protection mode. This is kind of for the fellas- if a girl hold your hand but uses her other hand to reach across and hold onto your arm it means she wants to be very close to you.

Hand Holding Etiquette: If someone isn’t interested in holding your hand, don’t make them. Have you ever seen a couple walking down the street and one of the two parties is way more involved in the hand holding than the other? It’s like one persons hand is limp and makes no effort and the other person is literally just holding that person hand? No no no.. hand holding is mutual.

Letting Go: Also just because someone lets go doesn’t mean they don’t like you. I remember someone telling me a story about how the guy they were with would always drop her hand and how SHE wanted to be the one to let go first. People it’s not a game, sometimes your hand gets tired or you just feel like having your hand to yourself- may be you need to sneeze or grab your keys? It’s not personal if the person lets go… it might be personal however if they never latch on EVER.

Note to the Fellas: Girls like to be led. Take a look at Mr. Beckham- he's always leading his leading lady. Leading the way and initiating a hand hold can be very sexy. It's saying that you're assertive and know where your going and we're coming with you. In big crowds it's a complete comfort to know as a guy you don't want us to get lost and serves as a bit of protection.

Note to the Girls: Sorry girls, but we should wait for the guy to do the initial hand hold. Don't be so quick to grab his hand. If he wants to he will. Until you are in a relationship he has to be the first one to grab on to your digits.

Hand holding... who knew!