Part Deuce: The History of Dry Humping

No one can really say when dry humping started because lets face it, it’s probably been going on since the beginning of time ever since people realized that rubbing up against something felt good in their pants. But for most of us dry humping started between 8th and 9th grade... If you did it before then, I'm calling you out- YOU NASTY!!!

Dry humping was our adolescent way of feeling satisfied without having sex. At the time we probably wondered if this was what sex felt like, but weren't willing to find out so settled for the simplicity of the dry hump.

Tales of dry humping: My friends have been great in helping share some of their first time dry humping experiences. I have kept the donors names’ anonymous. Don't try to ask which story belongs to who because that is something I'll never share. If the story-teller wishes to reveal themself they can leave a comment :) However,we can all agree that dry humping= cool at the time, hilarious now.

- It was definitely with my first boyfriend. I think we dry-humped for about a month and a half before going all the way. And from what i recall it was a headboard-banging, paint-chipping, hell of a time. really fucking fun. i want to do it again.

- On Helene's uncles bed with other people....grizzosss that we could all hook up and clothes hump in the same room back in the day.

- I know that my first experience left to a nasty condition called jean-burn or zipper scratch.

- Mine was on, not in, but on the cover of Emilie Romero’s hot tob in her basement. This room had a vanity when you walked in, but as soon as you looked to the right, it opened into this huge room with a hot tub. We didn't want to go in a bedroom so we figured we'd go in there. It was obviously a hard surface and being 13/14 years old we didn't weigh that much so weren't going to break it. We totally left our jeans on. IM SO SORRY EMILIE!

- mine was in Madison Clements room [i was]dumped me because I wouldnt give him head...so then I moved my dry humping escapades to [another]...he invited me (the only sophmore in a gaggle of field hockey groopies) to his dad's house for a school skip day and I think [someone] walked in on us dry humping in his bed...then [i got a ride] home. Funny story...I was sooooo drunk after [i got a ride] home and my mom had no idea...so she volunteered me to babysit my cousins at my gradmas house in Potomac.I just want to set the mental image here: my little cousins, 5 and 7 are jumping over the recently loosened tennis court net. They were probably reaching an altitude of 2 feet as they singly crossed over the saggy net. The drunk cockiness overcame me as I told them: "Hey look at me do this!" I stepped back and ran full force over the net and as my foot caught the tennis court all I could think is "oh shit.." I ended up in the hospital with my mom asking me how I couldnt jump over a 2 foot net when my little cousins could easily do it....needless to say..I went to dryhump-ville and ill I got was a lousy broken wrist to show for it.

I'm going to take a minute to briefly discuss the communal hook up room mentioned above- we’ve all been there, DON’T LIE. Even if you weren't in a room with other couples, the lights off, and hooking up, you certainly did it somewhere in a basement bedroom where people were most likely listening outside the door to hear belt buckles shingling and head boards pushing against the wall. Harriet was nice enough to comment on the communal hook up/ dry humping room which I will share with you since I truly find it insightful and hilarious:

"omg how on earth did we think communal hook-up rooms were acceptable? i guess being horny teenagers with no where to go counts for a lot. so gross. and the worst part is i KNOW we've all been there once or twice. or twenty times."

Would you ever do that now? Reflecting back on it, dry humping and sex kind of sound the same, minus certain vocals. The head board still rocks and the pillows get swooshed just the same as if you were actually making bananas... so why did we think it was good form to simulate sex in front of others? To take it a step further how did we not consider the person whose bed we were occupying that would sleep in it unknowingly that 6 teenagers had just used it. EW!!!!

It just goes to show young people really have no cares in the world.

Part 3: "Why Dry humping is Appealing/ Why We Do It" coming Thursday!

An Ass That Makes Me Want to Dry Hump

The title of this blog is the comical line delivered by Scarlett Johanasen in the movie, “He’s Just Not That Into You” (must see and enjoyable for all) made the decision to write this blog easy. Once again, dry humping had made a small comeback in our lives by gracing us with it’s presence on the silver screen and surprisngly has popped up in numerous conversations the last couple of weeks.

We all know what dry humping is and when we think about it can’t help but to laugh at its concept. But as described by the University of California, Santa Barbara dry humping (aka dry sex) is "the sexual rubbing and motion of two bodies with clothes on or off, as long as no male fluids can enter the vagina, anus, or mouth" (click her for reference).

Despite being the topic of conversation sometimes and being mentioned in movies, how could I not write about it when I came across the description above attached to the picture I used found on google images? I mean really! We may not think about it, but most of it still do it- not the way we might have in 9th grade, but it still occurs. SO this blog will actually be a 5 part series that I’ll discuss every couple of days. I encourage those who read to leave comments and contribute.

Part 2- The History of the dry hump
Part 3- Why dry humping is appealing/ why we do it
Part 4- Techniques and stories
Part 5- The future of dry humping

After much discussion and story sharing filled with belly laughs and giggles it was decided that this long tradition of keeping your pants on while grinding on your hook up, boyfriend, or girlfriend needed to be brought up once again for fantastical reminiscing.

Part 2 coming on Tuesday!

DUN DUN DUN!!!

Valentines Day is coming up and you bet your bottom dollar there are people out there who are dreading that very lovely Saturday. Why is it that people get so upset on Valentine’s Day? Aren’t there another 364 days to show your love/admiration/affection for someone?

And just because you may not have a valentine doesn’t mean you have to sit alone on your sofa, watch The Notebook, guzzle a bottle of wine and cry yourself silly while occasionally getting up to go look in the mirror to actually see how hard your tears come streaming down your face. Don't do that.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I haven't had a Valentine the past couple of years :p- Not to say I don’t think it’d be awesome to have a person to spend it with, but it's the not the earth shattering disappointment it once was in 8th grade :) For some people VDay puts a lot of unnecessary stress on their lives:

Girls: “OMG WHAT IS JOHN GOING TO GET ME?- DO I EVEN HAVE A F*ING VALENTINE?"
Boys: “I BETTER DO SOMETHING GOOD OR SALLY SUE WILL GET MAD AT ME! BALLS!"

Totally unnecessary. I’ve heard many stories about people/couples getting into fights over Valentines Day- seems a little paradoxical considering it’s the day of loveeeeeee. But really if you do take Valentines Day that serisouly, do yourself a favor STOP... relax and just enjoy it. Don't set your expectations to high and through the roof. Just be happy you have someone to spend it with- isn't that the whole point?

AND if you don’t have anyone to spend it with go out with friends :) This year VDay falls on a Saturday so go out with your crew and share in the friend love (don’t be pervs).

So what would this 4 year non-valentine vet do if she could- and perhaps a good idea for you too? Stay in, order a pizza, grab some beer and have your valentine come over. Afterwards, head out and meet up with friends- you can bone later :) Spreading the love, one blog at a time! XX. Happy Pre-Valentines Day!!!!